The Final Ep

Now comes the time when this project must end. The technical end date for the entire thing is mid-April, so that means, even more so, that the end of the video project must come now. 

For the final episode, I would like to encourage participation. So on this blog, and on the youtube channel, I will ask for suggestions on what you would like to see me do or rant about. ANYTHING. This does not mean i will do it, but the suggestion might prompt something else. 

So I ask for submissions via this weird tumblr dialogue box, also in the comments.

What would you like to see me do or rant about?

Episode 4 is now uploaded, and there are a lot of random posters posted around my school. We ran around the school filming and being strange, and I admit it was really fun. But the best part about this project? There’s only one episode left after this! That means I can finally concentrate on the book part of the project! Awesome.

Script: Episode One

Okay, done with that. Back to the usual nonsense.

Here is the script from Episode One, in case anyone’s interested.

Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there. I was busy putting on my Tanuki ears. 

(Title Card) Ep. 1: Appearance and Attitude 

Hey there. As I said last week, this is an internet thingy that will teach you some of the tricks of those internet followings out there, in the hopes to get one of your own. Where to go from there? I don’t know … then people will be at your command, and it’s not my business what you tell them to do.

Well, anyhow. The first and most basic step of getting attention is to have some sort of signature look or outfit. I mean, almost everyone out there with a following has that appeal. Lady Gaga likes to wear her lunch, Daniel Tosh has those v-necks and that haircut. Hell, even Mister Rogers has that sweater-and-sneakers getup he wears every episode. And who doesn’t love Mister Rogers? No one. That’s who. Don’t be a hater.

Even if your content is terrible, sometimes you can draw attention with your looks. Maybe you’re not funny, but you’re wearing this weird vintage coonskin cap, and it looks great. Everyone will be so distracted by how great/awesome/bizarre-o you look that they’ll recognize your next video anyhow. It’s kind of like that movie, Wild Wild West. Yeah, the script was awful, but did you SEE those costumes? No? Am I too old or something?

Anyhow. Today, I will try to get my own signature look. Now, probably no one noticed last week because I own such a small camera and live in a tiny tiny room, but I was wearing a plaid dress. If I had a larger camera, I might try for something that would cover my whole body; but more likely, I’m going to go for something from the neck up. Also, since I am but a poor student, I refuse to buy anything new. Shall we?

(montage. Tanuki ears, baseball cap, fedora, mustache finger, giant earrings, ridiculous makeup, goth makeup, bandana, hat I made, stuffed animal on head, glasses, studded collar, scarf.)

Alright. I think I’m gonna go with this hat. Mostly because I made it, which means no one else has it. Also, it’s a bright color, which will stand out against my black-of-night hair. From now on, I will wear this every episode. Let’s see what my roommate thinks!

(Leyat) Hey, Rachel, you look awesome!

It’s already working!

While this works for me because the camera loves me, not everyone wants to be seen. What if you’re just doing a voice-over, or writing something, or … um … hiding in a box? (Shot of someone in a box) Yeah, like that guy.

Well that’s easy. Be funny!

Yes, it is that easy! How? Really? You don’t know how to be funny? What the hell is wrong with you, why would anyone ever follow you?

(sigh.) Fine. I will go over some basics of being funny.

  1. Make fun of other people, especially your audience. Downplaying other people makes you seem better by comparison. It’s how Stephen Colbert does it. And everyone loves Stephen. You know how many marriage proposals that guy gets a day?!
  2. Point out things in everyday life that are kind of dumb. Like, what’s up with hot dogs coming in packs of ten while rolls come in packs of eight? Why do the English not use the English Measurement system? It’s taking a leaf from Jerry Seinfeld’s book. Don’t tell me you didn’t watch Seinfeld, you liar. Everyone loved Kramer until he started telling racist jokes. That reminds me
  3. Don’t be racist, unless you mean to be. Um. I mean … unless that’s your thing. Telling racist jokes. Like, that’s your draw. But …come on, be tasteful. Ooh. That leads me to
  4. Be tasteful! No dead baby jokes … no matter how funny … okay. Dead baby jokes are fine. Just tasteful ones.
  5. Put in tons of pop culture references, even ones from other internet followings. That way, you seem hip and stylish and super funny, even if people have seen these things already many, many times. It’s Super Special Awesome!
  6. A great way to get some laughs is to be over-the-top outrageous, almost crossing the line into insanity. But be careful with this one, because you might be mistaken for an actual crazy person. But if you don’t care then neither do I!

 

On a last note, if you’re going verbal, you might want to think about a cachphrase. Something like …”Believe in me who believes in you” or “so long and thanks for all the fish.” But it really depends on what your theme is. For instance … my theme is … meta. So maybe I’ll go with … uh … ooh, I know!

(cut off by outro).

Jinkies!

I’m a doctor, dammit, not an internet phenomenon!

May the force be with you.

We’re gonna need a bigger camera.

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a shit.

I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!

Screw the rules, I have a green hat!

Ignore the Next Post

I’m just going to post this and pretend it’s part of my Promotion  chapter preparation.

Hope no one minds, but my Etsy account isn’t getting much traffic lately, and apparently it gets some from tumblr. (Though whose tumblr accounts, I have no idea.) So I’m gonna attempt to promote my fine product on my own tumblr account, because I just made back my investment and it would be nice to make some real money now. This doesn’t actually have anything to do with RachelNation otherwise.

This Email …

Well, I’m hard at work for the next episode. Unlike the previous ones, this one actually requires me to go outside. »shudder« so I’m doing it when I can. Thank God for DST. But more on that in a minute. I want to share something. It doesn’t turn out to be anything important, so you can hang your suspense for something worthwhile. 

The day after I uploaded the fourth(third) episode to YouTube, I woke up to my alarm clock, which is just my phone strategically placed under my pillow. (This way I hear it but my roommate does not.) Also on my phone is my email, and I usually see right away in the morning that I have 4 or 5 new emails. Generally, these are from social networking sites or spam, but sometimes I will wake to good news, like I have a new follower on Pinterest or I just made 15 bucks on Fireshield earrings. This was a bit different.

As I sleepily read my email, I saw that I had a message from someone on youtube. Here it is:

It says:hey there 

you have some very interesting videos uploaded but small views. i think they are not really getting noticed. 
have you ever tried to buy subscribers or views to make your channel bigger. 
subgrow . com 
i used that site before with one of my channal and their subscriber packages made my views rise big over a few weeks. 
they are the best on the net 

Since I am new to uploading YouTube, I had never gotten spam before, and wasn’t entirely sure this WAS spam. Actually, it reminded me of a message I received from fanfiction.net not too long ago, asking if I was considering putting a piece I never finished up for “adoption.”

Now, I was sure this person was promoting their company, but I was excited that they had written to me, personally. I went through the day thinking on how to reply. I did not want to buy subscribers, as that would defeat the purpose of this project, and I hadn’t done much promotion, as I was »spoiler« saving it for the next episode. But I was curious on how this person (I assume it was a “she” for some reason) found me in the first place.

I didn’t get to a computer until the next day, where I sat at work and hastily opened my channel mail to reply. And that was where I saw that the mail had not only gone out to me, but to at least eight other channels. This was disheartening, though not entirely. I wrote back anyway with the same plan, careful to use the weird language that was bouncing around my brain.

Heh, very interesting indeed! I did not know there was such a thing as buying subscribers. How does that work? Is that just to build hype?

Tell me, I am curious, how did you happen to come across my channel? Maybe in that way, I can figure out a way to …hm, lure others.

And I sent it. It has been nearly a week, and I have not heard back. But it makes a good story to put in my book, so there!

Episode 3 (4th video) is up on Youtube! Check it out, guys, we got a comment, though, on the last video. Someone liked my comment about Jacob from Twilight being a dog and Edward being a dude with a bad wig. Also I’m not the only one watching these things anymore. I wonder if it counts if you watch the embed. 

Anyhow, this one is a spin off of the last one, kind of a 2-parter. However, Episode 4 (5) is going to be tricky. 

While video 4 is in progress, here is a blog-exclusive video of me screwing up yesterday’s episode way too many times. You would think that a person with a script in front of her, alone in her room with no distractions would be able to pronounce the word “blog.”