The Final Ep

Now comes the time when this project must end. The technical end date for the entire thing is mid-April, so that means, even more so, that the end of the video project must come now. 

For the final episode, I would like to encourage participation. So on this blog, and on the youtube channel, I will ask for suggestions on what you would like to see me do or rant about. ANYTHING. This does not mean i will do it, but the suggestion might prompt something else. 

So I ask for submissions via this weird tumblr dialogue box, also in the comments.

What would you like to see me do or rant about?

While video 4 is in progress, here is a blog-exclusive video of me screwing up yesterday’s episode way too many times. You would think that a person with a script in front of her, alone in her room with no distractions would be able to pronounce the word “blog.”

Script: Intro

For the sake of having more text, here is the script for episode 1, the intro.

EP 1: INTRO
SCENE: KITCHEN DESK

(RACHEL is sitting at the desk, not paying attention to the camera, typing something. Suddenly, she sees the camera and acts startled, but pleased.) 

Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. I was busy writing in my blog, like the other fifty million people on the internet who have blogs. That’s right. FIFTY MILLION. That’s probably everyone you know, plus their parents, siblings, and those distant cousins, and even of you count your facebook friends as well as your real friends, that’s still barely a million. So why even bother with that YouTube channel with dreams of the internet fame that came to many others when in reality, you’re just on a path to further obscurity?

Well, I’ll tell you something. I’m not gonna just sit here and drown under the waves instead of surfing the net. Those internet followings out there aren’t famous by coincidence. There’s something about them that makes people want to watch, want to read, or even get those coveted subscribers.

“Oh, Rachel, they’re just funny and talented,” you say. Shutup! That is simply not true, you’re just being lazy. There is indeed a step-by-step formula to having an internet following. And by looking at existing followings and understanding a little bit about human psychology, you can do it, too! You’d be surprised. It’s not just about having a good idea or a lot of already internet-famous friends. For instance, nothing is a better subconscious pull than an annoyingly catchy theme song.

(Play opening)

And that’s just the start. Each week, I’ll go over something new, and I’ll do it myself to demonstrate. Soon, you and I will be gone from internet obscurity and back into regular obscurity.

 So, I invite you to follow me on my journey to internet popularity by teaching you how to achieve internet popularity. It’s meta!

I cant yp e really fast if­­­ I want to and Im not ustRkkjsijopjksnkdfldj;lgkjldfkjgklljkljkjkjkjj­

Progress or Lack Thereof

It’s been two weeks since I started this (a relatively short time, but long if you consider that I only have seven weeks to do this project.) I know I don’t want to promote this thing so much, at least until the “promotion” episode, but I guess I was hoping for a spam comment or two. It’s like the paradox from Catcher in the Rye: bad attention is better than no attention at all.

Come to think of it, that’s not from Catcher in the Rye at all. Nevermind.

Well, the end result of all of this is a well-designed book filled with graphics ripped off from Shepard Fairey — I mean — inspired by Shepard Fairey. Since the content, meaning what happens with this attempted fandom, doesn’t really matter, I guess I don’t care too much. Sometimes no attention is perfectly adequate, especially if you’re an INTJ like myself. (For those unfamiliar with Meyers-Briggs, it means that I stay away from people and plot their imminent destruction. Quietly.) 

So far I’ve got a total of 11 views and no comments. That’s perfectly fine. I think it’s clear I would have rather gone with one of the earlier ideas rather than making a video of myself being an egotistical idiot, and it’s really the book that counts in the end. Now I’m repeating myself, so I sound unsure … ugh … really, I don’t care, you have to believe me! WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME??

Anyhow, I have to write the script for episode 2(episode 3?) today so that I can film and edit it tomorrow. I am spending way too much time in the production of the episodes and not enough in the book. I don’t even have a solid layout. And it’s due in a month and a half… fuck. 

Let’s Go!

Even with the introduction uploaded, I can’t slow down. I’ve already written the second episode (actually the first episode) and the script is much longer. I don’t think I can film this one in a half an hour like the last. And something tells me my roommates’ patience is waning. I’m either going to have to find a new camera man or set up some sort of rig so I can talk to myself  … myself. 

I’m kinda afraid to check the video, since I don’t really like the first one. The second will be much better! I’ll check everything after that. I know, I know, I said “let the spam come” but the truth is I don’t want to know how it’s doing until after I put up something I actually feel is good. The intro is stupid, to tell the truth. I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve “good” since I don’t have the time to spend so much time on this, as I’ve mentioned earlier (this is close to becoming my catch phrase), but I think I can get to ‘adequate.” Don’t you?

So let’s go.

Productivity

I feel today was productive. The intro episode, however the quality, is uploaded, and I can’t WAIT for the spam to fly so I can write about it. In the end, it isn’t so much how successful the fandom is, it’s that something happens so I have something to write about in my thesis book.

I seem to be doing okay without the videos, even. Someone is following me who I don’t know! Unless it’s one of the England kids and I just don’t know it … or if it’s like tumblr’s equivilant of Tom. 

The videos are on a YouTube account called ProjectRachelNation (wtf RachelNation was taken! WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS). It’s under my gmail (I think) which means I had to delete all my favorites just to avoid another one of those situations like that time on DeviantArt when my friend decided to look through my favorites … um … let’s just call it a Noodle Incident and never mention it again. 

Anyhow, I basically have a blank youtube channel. Maybe one day I’ll upload my other two videos, A Transformation of Tompkins Square Park and Painted: A Study in Heavy Metal Poisoning. I wrote and filmed both but acted in neither of those for good reason: I cannot remember lines unless they are first delivered by someone else. 

Whatever. I just hope something happens.

My Critera

I brainstormed with my roommate, mostly because the writing center at school isn’t opened yet (why have it closed when there’s so much writing that needs to be done??), along with my friend Kara and one or two classmates. There’s some criteria to what to do to gather this “following.”

A. It has to be something simple.
Sure, people  might want to read hilarious poems about zombie rabbis, or webcomics featuring personified internet trolls, but that would take too long, and is overly complicated. Why spend so much time on this when I could fall on my ass and get 10,000 Youtube views?

B. I have to be willing to do it.
Hell if I’m actually willing to fall on my ass for 10,000 YouTube views. Okay, maybe for 10,000, but in all likelihood I’d peak at 1000, and that’s just not worth it. This also means nothing involving nudity (mine or anyone else’s), no eating bizarre foods concocted by my sadistic friends, and no setting things I like on fire for symbolic meanings.

C.It has to be several episodes or posts
Just one is never enough. There’s no guarantee that one video or weird fanfiction will get lots of attention. Unless I’m Rebecca Black, but I’m not (I’m actually chorally trained.) The more I post, the more likely it will be that someone will see it, or them.

D. It has to be appealing.
This one is fairly obvious. I mean, why would I watch or read something stupid? Okay, I mean, why would I read or watch something boring? It CAN be stupid, I suppose, but I would prefer if there was some sort of intelligence or thought involved. Hence the no-falling-on-my-ass. I cannot emphasize that enough.

E. It can’t be too embarrassing
As if I don’t embarrass myself enough outside the internet!

After analyzing the criteria and bouncing ideas off people (and laughing as they winced) , we only came up with a few solutions:

#awkward moments: a twitter and tumblr account posting everyday awkward situations. We could probably update this several times a day.

not-caution: photoshopping caution labels to say the exact opposite thing. ie “Children and hot beverages should not be kept apart” and “immediately drive or operate heavy machinery after taking.”

book blogging: I had read several book blogs, where someone fairly funny or ridiculously critical reads a well-known book series and blogs on it as he/she goes along. I’m pretty funny myself, not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I’ve already read most of the made-fun-of serieses (like Twilight). Second reactions are not quite as funny.

That’s it so far. Now I’ve just got to present this to my class. Hopefully 26 mildly intelligent but highly creative people will have better ideas than me.